Happy Monday

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When I was younger, I used to love to dance in the rain. In fact, when it would rain, I’d ask my parents if I could get my bathing suit on and go stroll down the street with my umbrella and dance for the cars that would pass by, as we lived on a busy street. It sounds crazy, but that’s just me. I still love dancing and I still love the rain. I may not get in my bathing suit and do a show for the passing cars in Somerville but even as an adult, I love being outside in the summer rain– it’s rejuvenating and makes me feel refreshed and one with the world.

However, whenever I see rain on the forecast, my nose still crinkles and I think to myself, “boo i want sunshine.” Even though there’s great benefits to rain, it still feels like a disappointment when you don’t get to enjoy the outdoors and sunshine during these short summer months. But sometimes it’s important to remember that not every day can be sunshine, and nor should it. If everyday was perfect, the beautiful rainbows that pop out of the clouds when you least expect it wouldn’t be so magical.

This week, don’t let the rain showers in your life bog you down– embrace them, dance in them and whip your hair wildly in them! Have hope that the sunshine will come out again and there will be a colorful rainbow just beyond the bend to brighten your day.

Lots of love and light,

Jessy

Coming Off the Vacation High 

Welp, vacation is officially over. It’s back to work tomorrow morning. Back to inside all day, back to meetings, back to waking up early, back to long days. Back to “reality.” I hope that one day my day-to-day “reality” is something that I’m excited about and feel good about myself doing, but for now, I’m sure you can feel my level of excitement through my words– not thrilled. 

I did, however, do a good job concentrating on the days and moments I had while I was having them. Sometimes on vacations in the past, I’ve spent too much time thinking about how much time I have left or how much work I’ll have when I’m back but if thoughts like that entered my mind, I tried to bring my thoughts to what was going on right now instead of focusing on days ahead. It makes a difference.

So now, as I have begun to stress out about the week ahead and am beginning to feel like I’m drowning in negative thoughts, it’s time for me to remember what an amazing 10 days I’ve had. 

Days full of kayaking with my love.

   
    
 
Lobster, fried clams, clam chowder and more lobster.    

    
   
Days starting with Mary Lou’s Coffee every morning. 

  
 
Fishing off the dock.    

 Playtime with my favorite puppy    

    
   
Playtime with my beautiful, crazy, hilarious, sass monster of a niece.    

    
    
 
Swimming in the amazing ocean.    

    
   
Relaxing and taking in the gorgeous scenery around us. 

  
   
And overall, just enjoying moments with my wonderful family. 

    
    
    
    
    
 
It ended today with a day celebrating our little Princess Elle, who turns 4 this Wednesday. 

  
 
What a lucky lady I am. So many memories made this past week with the people that matter most to me. Blessed would be an understatement.

XOXO,

Jessy 

Vacation Time

I woke up on the right side of bed today, the VACATION side of the bed. Last week was quite the week and I’d be lying to say I did a good job staying positive throughout it. Everyday, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I could go on and on about what was bothering me but I don’t feel like thinking about it right now. Let’s just say I had had ENOUGH and I was ready for my vacation to start and to be away from my desk. 

It’s already been such a great few days. We started off America’s birthday party with a friend’s BBQ in Needham; great food, lawn games and fireworks to end the night…loads of fun. 

   
      
Then we packed up and headed to the Cape for our week away. My parents rented the same house as they did last year so we can spend a few days together lounging in floats, dancing on the beach, doing yoga on the dock, working on puzzles, cracking lobsters, and laughing till our bellies hurt. 

         

I’ll be back in full force next week but the next few days, I’m disconnecting from my phone and computer a bit and just relaxing and enjoying time with the sunshine and my family.

Off to Mary Lou’s for the most heavenly coffee around! 

XOXO,

Jessy
p.s. Hi Andrea… You are the best, (and sassiest) nurse I could ever ask for. See you NEXT week! 🙂 

Motivational Monday

I struggled staying positive last week and I can already feel myself slipping into a “blahhh” feeling Monday. We can go into everyday with the best of intentions and tell ourselves to have positive thoughts but sometimes your emotions take control more than your conscious thoughts.

After water filling up in our kitchen light last night (and then all over the floor), I was convinced this may not be the best start of the week. Cleaning instead of blogging about my weekend (which I’ll get to later this week) was disappointing and frustrating. BUT HEY, That’s home ownership, huh? 

Anyways, last week, when I was feeling particularly low, I saw this amazing post on Instagram by @yogagirl! It’s not only physically impressive and something I want to work for but her words were so true and empowering at that moment. And I find them very helpful to read and remind myself as we start this week. 

  

So ROAR when you need to.

Stand tall and keep your head high. 

WARRIOR UP.

Let’s kick this Monday’s ass. 

XOXOX, 

Jessy 
 

Like a Duck

 I missed Motivational Monday because I was spending some much needed time with my second family, the Piets, and soaking up the sun on the Cape on a Monday. It was so nice to spend time with them as I have always felt such a part of their family, like Brittany is my sister and her sisters are my little sisters. I am very blessed in that way, to have the support and love from another family. But as life many times get in the ways, I get to see them a lot less than I once did. So i felt so grateful to get to have this time with my best friend for a whole day. And let me tell you, having a sleepover at age 26 is just as fun as when you’re 13. 

  
As for the quote… I AM OBSESSED!!! It’s just so accurate. I’m always putting an effort in to appear polished and professional on the outside but on the inside I’m dancing, being silly and running as fast as I can to my next goal. 

You’re through Monday, WAHOO! So let’s make this Tuesday a SUCCESS AND NOTHING LESS! 

Lots of love & light,

Jessy 

 

Grateful for the Now

So much of our lives are spent wishing for the next thing. When you don’t have a boyfriend, you wish you were in a relationship. When you have a boyfriend, you wish you were engaged. When you’re engaged you can’t wait to get married and have all that stressful planning done and over with! It’s always on-to-the-next and I’m fully guilty of this. Certainly, I am guilty of this lately — I think almost daily about how much I can’t wait for this time period of my life to be over. How I can’t wait until I’m “normal” again. I can’t wait until I can have drinks again. I can’t wait until I don’t have chemo treatments every week. I can’t wait until this damn port is out of my chest. I can’t wait to have a dog. I can’t wait to get rid of my commute.
I can’t wait. I can’t wait. I can’t wait.
I’m literally wishing away my life because it’s “hard” right now. Then I sit and think about it and I realize that it’s always going to be hard. Life is always going to have bumps in the road and obstacles to get over… you don’t go over one big wave and then have smooth sailing the rest of the ride. Navigating those rocky waves is part of being human. So although my hope is that this time in my life is particularly difficult, I need to stop pretending like this is the only difficult thing that I will experience in my life. What I really need to do is start living in the now and appreciating the day in front of me. I feel like this expression, “life in the moment,” is so overused and rarely ever acted upon but it’s the only way to say it. You truly have to embrace each day and feel grateful to be in it. Because as wonderful as tomorrow looks today, who knows if you’ll ever get there? That sounds bleak but it’s the truth. Tomorrow isn’t promised so if you spend all of today looking forward to tomorrow, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine that’s beating down on you RIGHT NOW.
Saying this and living this are two different things. It takes practice and a lot of actual effort to truly feel happy, to whole-heartedly embrace the day. I’ve realized that being happy isn’t something that just happens, you have to make a conscious effort to attain it. I believe that having gratitude for the things in your life and being grateful for the many blessings that you have, really helps in feeling that true joy we’re all looking for. I’ve been putting a conscious effort to act on this lately and have found that a few easy practices, have helped me take on each day with a better mindset.
that I have found helpful is meditating for a few minutes in the morning before I get out of bed. My type of meditating doesn’t consist of any “om-ing” or special rituals that take a considerable amount of time. Rather for just a few minutes before getting out of bed in the morning, I sit up straight with my legs crossed, close my eyes and think about how grateful I am for this day, how grateful I am for my life and the people in my life. Doing this starts the day off on a positive note– it is a reminder to feel thankful for simply being alive and getting to live this day.
Another thing I’ve been trying to do more often is to take deep breaths. I know this sounds so simple but it can be so impactful. It physically calms your body down when you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. Breathing deeply in through your nose and slowly out through your nose, can help reduce anxiety, which I think we all so desperately can use. While I’m doing this, I often say to myself, “I am strong. I am loved and I will get through this.” These three sentences have sort of become my mantra that I’ve been saying in my head since about February 21, 2014 but yours can be whatever you want. Whatever makes you feel more at ease, gives you confidence and makes you feel like you can get through whatever life is handing you. And the beauty about pairing deep breathing with a personal affirmation is that it can be done anytime, anywhere.
The last thing that I’ve found helps to ground you and bring your mind to the present moment is to look up at the sky. Really look. Throw your head back and look up at its beautiful openness. See how big it is. Think about how small you are in the world compared to it. It’s a humbling feeling and I find that it helps to give you a sense of much-needed perspective.
That being said, I don’t want to act like I don’t see the importance of planning ahead or being excited for the future. Being excited for what’s to come is what motivates us and gets us to push ourselves to be the best we can be so our tomorrow can be even better than today! It’s just important to remember to be grateful for the now, TOO. Be grateful for THIS moment. Even if it’s a hard moment, be grateful for it. It might be tough but it’s making you stronger. Be grateful for that. Simply said, be grateful for your life — it’s a beautiful one.
So, just like my gorgeous little Leni bear, I hope that every day you stop and take time to smell the flowers blooming right outside your window.
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Lots of love and light,
Jessy
p.s. I’ll probably have to reread this tomorrow when I’m sitting at work, wishing for the weekend. But hey! It’s all about making the effort.

Work It

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It’s Motivational Monday, friends! Whatever you want to make happen in your life, do something this week that helps get you there. Even if it’s just baby steps, or one tiny task that takes you just a wee bit closer, DO IT!!!! Success and happiness don’t just fall into our laps. We’ve gotta work for it!!

Let your happiness come first!!!

XOXO,

Jessy

The Date is Set

March 26, 2016.

This is going to be a big day for me. This is the day I will have my last treatment of chemotherapy. I will walk into Dana-Farber, see the most amazing people in the world, get an infusion of cancer-killing, leukemia sucking drugs and then I will walk out, head held high and I’ll be damned if I ever walk into Yawkey 8 as a patient again.

It will be a day I waited 764 days for.

This Wednesday, I sat in the chair next to Dr. D and when he asked if I had anything else I wanted to talk about, I just blurted out, “when does it end?” “Can I have a date?” “I need a date!.” Honestly, I really didn’t think he was going to be able to pin point it for me, but he pulled up his calendar and did just that. It was so what I needed. I’m so grateful that I’ve made it through over a year of this battle but I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately with how much longer I have to go. It’s different having pieces of your life back, like work and exercising but knowing that you’re still sick, that you still have a long way to go to make it out of the woods. Knowing the date gives me something to look forward to. To set my mind to. A much-needed finish line in my own little marathon.

Today is National Cancer Survivors Day– I don’t fit into this quite yet because I’m only half way there. i’m in remission, but I’m not cured. I have survived a lot in the past year but I haven’t gotten through it all. Next year at this time, I will feel incredible relief and gratitude if I am lucky enough to go for a walk on a beautiful June day and know that I’m two months passed my last chemo infusion. Two months into the rest of my life. It will feel unbelievable to be a survivor.

So let the countdown begin. 292 days to go.

XOXO,

Jessy

Stay Hopeful Stay Humble

I came home to the most beautiful and meaningful present I’ve received in quite some time. Maybe ever! My beautiful and thoughtful friend Maija sent me a “lokai” bracelet. On it, there is a black bead that holds mud from The Dead Sea, the lowest point on earth. This signifies the difficult moments you experience throughout life and reminds you to stay hopeful even at life’s lowest moments. It also has a white bead that carries water from Mount Everest, the highest point on earth. This bead signifies life’s highest moments. It’s those times when you’re feeling on top of the world, that it’s important to stay humble.

Secretly (or maybe not so secretly, who knows) I’ve been having a little bit of a hard time mentally lately. I’ve been feeling like this journey is never ending; like I’ll never get back to my life, get back to my normal. So after a long day at work, coming home to find this on the table was the most wonderful thing I could have ever asked for and just what I needed. It made me feel so loved and so lucky. Because I am lucky. Yes, I am going through something difficult, but so does everybody in life. What’s important is that you remain positive and remember that things will get better. Hope is an invaluable feeling and this bracelet will be a daily reminder to be just that, hopeful and humble. 

Thank you to my beautiful Mai Tie, I am so lucky to have you in my life. 

Lots of love & light,

Jessy  

 

Live & Keep Learning

One thing that I feel I’ve become better at in the past year or so is opening my mind to other thoughts, teachings, alternative medicines and over wellness of our lives. I’ve grown up as a Catholic, I believe in God and heaven, I trust in westernized medicine and the power of going for a run and lifting weights as exercise. But I also believe that there are other religions that make sense and have useful teachings, I believe that there are beneficial practices and natural remedies that can compliment and enhance our medical practices, I believe in the power of meditation and yoga, for both physical and mental strength. Because of this, I began reading an introduction to Buddhism book called “Open Heart, Clear Mind.” It’s not that I want to change my religious beliefs, but I do find it extremely interesting and beneficial to really listen and truly appreciate others thoughts and teachings. I’m only about half way done but have already found this book to be extremely enlightening and a good reminder of what’s important in life: like being compassionate to others, taking care of yourself mentally, and having an altruistic mindset.

Today, while sitting outside on this gorgeous May day, I read about karma. There are pieces of it that are a bit “out there” for me, personally, but the overarching idea of it makes a lot of sense and can be something to really take into consideration in our daily lives. That the actions and energy we put out into the world are what we therefore will receive back from the world.

The Buddah said:
“According to the seed that is sown,
So is the fruit that you will reap.
The doer of good will gather good results,
The doer of evil reaps evil results.
If you plant a good seed well,
Then you will enjoy the good fruits.”

I think this is true in so many places in life. I have seen tenfold in the past year that being kind and caring to those around you comes full circle when you’re the one who needs love and support. Being gentle and considerate of others feelings and thoughts, makes them caring and compassionate to you in the future.

It’s Sunday night, another weekend has come to a close and a new week will begin tomorrow morning. I’m only human when I say that I’ve thought negative thoughts about those I work with, I’ve gossiped about people, flipped people off when driving to work, or passed judgment on those I don’t even know just by how they look or what they’re wearing. These actions, although natural to human behavior, are not useful to me nor will they bring myself or anybody I love happiness. So although I know I won’t ever probably be able to get rid of these negative actions in my head completely, I think it’s wise to put a more conscious effort into eradicating these types of attitudes when possible.

Karma: you get what you give. So give wisely.

Lots of love and light,
Jessy

p.s. how cute are these little smiling Buddhas? Especially the one throwing up the deuces. I can’t.

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