Music Miracles

Early in the summer, Jessie and I bought tickets for the Sam Smith concert that would be at the House of Blue. It’s something I’ve been so looking forward to as the venue is awesome, the artist is incredibly talented and it would be a fun “night out” with one of my best friends (something that doesn’t happen nearly enough anymore). So as the days creeped closer to September 15th and I did little to no improving here on 7D, it became clear making it to this concert was going to be a stretch. However as soon as I mention this to my wonderful team of doctors, nurses (and Mike), an action plan is sprung into place. House of Blues is called so we can get disability seating since I’m constrained to a wheelchair right now, Mikes boss (who’s a frequent goer of the HOB) reaches out directly so Mike can be given a free pass to come in and be able to assist me getting settled, my social worker calls the venue to get an exact time of the setlist so I can maximize my time out, my doctors and nurses do a bunch of extra paperwork to allow me to be “discharged” for a set amount of time, and my dad who stayed in Boston until 1030 at night so that he could drop us off and be right outside the door when we got out to drive me right back to the hospital.

There was so many people that went into making last night possible for me. Something that I arguably will be able to do plenty of times in my life. But last night was different. I had been looking forward to this night with my best friend all summer. So if I hadn’t gotten to go, cancer would’ve taken that away from me. But the amazing people I have surrounding me didn’t let that happen. So many people went into making last night a reality for me and it warms my heart to know they all did it for nothing other than my happiness. That’s pretty incredible. That’s a mini miracle. That shows you that people are good….people are kind, and thoughtful and considerate. I am truly lucky to have been able to witness something like that first hand.

So to everyone who made last night such a special night for me- thank you! It’s just what I needed to keep on pushing forward!!!




Last Chance to Help Me Raise Funds to Put an End to Cancer

Less than a week until theĀ 2014 Boston MarathonĀ® Jimmy Fund Walk. I signed up to complete the 5 mile course with many of my family and friends. It’s a cause that is obviously extremely close to my heart as it raises funds for an organization that has literally saved my life. An organization that has gone so above and beyond in their care, it astonishes me everyday and I am forever grateful. In addition to helping fund the incredible Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, the monies raised will also go towards groundbreaking new research and clinical trials that are necessary to finding a CURE to this horrible disease we call cancer.

Currently, I’m on day 10 here at the Brigham due to my second flare up with pancreatitis and am still unable to walk much farther than to the bathroom without needing to use my walker. My legs and stomach have swollen so much that I am weighing about 40 pounds heavier than I should. So I’m getting a bit concerned about my 5 mile adventure being less than a week away. However, I made a commitment and I am determined to follow through with that commitment. I will cross that finish line, one way or another.

So here’s what I am asking of you– please make a donation to this wonderful cause. No amount is too small because it all adds up and all makes a difference in putting an end to cancer! If you’ve already donated to my page, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I cannot tell you how much it is appreciated.



Back at It

It’s been a rough go at it lately. Really, it has. Although my attempts to limit foods have been the best to my ability, I somehow found myself in an ambulance by myself to the hospital on Friday afternoon due to my pancreatitis coming back.

Painful and Scary. No bueno.

So I’m back in the Brigham, not getting to eat or drink, on rotating pain meds, and just overall itching to get out of here. Luckily, I’m not getting pumped with nearly as much fluids this time so I haven’t gained the 40+ pounds I did round 1. I do, however, have some pretty amazing news. My doctors have finally approved Mike and I being able to get a dog so there’s something for us to be very excited about and something to very much look forward to! So while Mike’s at work, I’m over here lookin for someone to call our little baby! If you have any frenchie breeder or rescue suggestions, I’m your girl!!!

Quick post today but just wanted to give an update about what’s going on here on my end! Hope you all had a marvelous weekend!

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Can’t Sleep

I do some of my best writing at 4:30 in the morning…on steriods. And that’s what’s going on right now. It’s exactly 4:37am and my mind is racing and I can’t sleep. So instead of laying here in bed with my eyes open, I thought I’d write down how I’m feeling and what’s new.

It’s been a little while since I’ve written a post, the frequency of the posts have slowed down in the past month and I know it. It’s not because I’m getting bored with my blog or anything of that sort but rather because I’m bored with my life right now. The past 3 weeks have consisted of not eating or making bland, “soft” meals, throwing up, napping, being curled up in pain, going to the doctors, watching tv, sleeping. Repeat. I’ve felt anything but inspirational. I’ve felt bad for myself quite honestly and that’s really it. I felt bad for myself that Mike and I had to cancel a trip to Newport this weekend that we had looked forward to nearly all summer due to my condition. I felt down for myself that I’ve felt so sad lately, it doesn’t feel like me. But as I sit here in bed in the wee morning of hours, I am thinking about everything good that has still happened over the past three weeks.
– I got to see two of my best friends, one from high school and one from college, that live in California and Florida and I very rarely get to see. It’s always rejuvenating to visit with friends, especially those you haven’t seen in quite some time.
– I got to spend time with my family and Mikes family. Both by the pool. Both with our little nuggets. And I’ve said if before but I’ll say it again, there’s no better cure than hanging out with children you love. They put a smile on your face no matter how crummy you may feel.
– I got to slow dance with Mike to Frank Sinatra.
– I got to dance crazily to “Shake It Out” by my girl T Swift with Mike (yes, there’s a lot of dancing in this house). Works for a good belly laugh every time.
– I have been reminded how strong I really am. I have learned how much my body can be put through and how I will bounce back and come out on top, even if it takes a while.
– I got to start back up on the chemo cocktail yesterday. Now this may not be traditional “fun” but being paused is a stressful feeling as you know it’s just pushing back the end goal. So I was thrilled to continue back on the march.
– I’ve learned that the guy sleeping quietly next to me (thank god, it’s a snore a lot of the time!) is the best thing that ever happened to me. That even at my lowest and grumpiest, he loves me unconditionally.

So for a crappy few weeks, there’s still a lot of good that has come out of it. And that’s important to remember, even at my lowest lows. Sometimes, I just have to write it out. I hope you all are having a wonderful and blessed week!