Detox to Retox, Super Bowl Style

The past four days have been so fantastic and fun and fabulous and fulfilling. Mike and I started our weekend doing a serious detox at the amazing local yoga we attend (it’s run by the most badass woman I’ve probably ever met- perfect combo of cardio, strength and mindfulness. If you live in the area check her out at Some.Yoga Studio). We did a hard but beautiful candelit Vinyasa flow then headed home with our organic salads and sipped on detoxing teas before heading to bed. 8 hours later, we woke up and went back to the studio where we completed two back-to-back classes where we sweated out toxins, did lots of detoxifying twists, drank a very green (and unappetizing) juice and then, then as a little community, we headed to a local homegrown Somerville brewery and cheers’d to a lot of calories burned and a lot of negative emotions released. Two of our best friends then visited that night and we had delicious pizza in the North End. If you didn’t know, I have a serious addiction to pizza. If I go over a week, I start having withdrawals. Like for serious. So since we had to break out tradition of Friday night pizza due to the detox, it was necessary to chow down on some of Italy’s best creation.



And THEN, THEN THERE WAS SUNDAY. SUNDAY THE SUPER BOWL. Mike grilled buffalo wings, I made a taco style nachos, and an award-winning chachterutie board and the good luck beers flowed. And then we were taught by the best sports team in history that you NEVER EVER EVER give up. It was a quiet household in the beginning of the third quarter… my eyes grew wider and my forehead wrinkles were getting deeper as I had a face of fear on my face. But even though my stomach was flipping and my head was beginning to think, it could be too late, my heart– as well as I think every true New England fan felt– we could still come back. There’s nothing that that coach, that quarterback, or that team can’t do. And then play by play we did. And then we witnessed the greatest comeback of all time.


Two years ago when we won the Super Bowl (as I say that I also just want to say, HOW LUCKY ARE WE TO BE PATS FANS?!?!?), I watched it in a hospital room as Mike rubbed my back, my mom held my hand and Dr. Mandy humored us (because lets face it, she does have more important things to worry about then football). And they pulled off a huge upset and won that game and I thought about how lucky I was to be here to see such an amazing win. I needed that lift of my spirit that night and this year, in a much different way but in as just as real way, I needed that lift of my spirit. I needed to be reminded that seriously, anything is possible and even when you’re down, if you believe in yourself and believe in those around you, you can make your dreams come true.

Today, I felt blessed that on my 7th day of ‘life exploration/unemployment,’ I was able to spend the day with my baby brother cheering on the incredible New England Patriots as they paraded down the streets of Boston for the fifth time. And as I was on the orange line, packed in a like a sardine, waiting for my stop in Somerville, I thought about what a special moment I had just gotten to be a part of. Typically the train makes me nervous and I don’t enjoy the smells of sweat and cigs. Many times, you’re on this train with hundreds of people and you don’t feel like a community; in fact, most of the time, I am just thinking about getting off “that thing” as quick as possible. But today, that train felt like a family train- we had all just cheered as our team paraded the streets of our beautiful city with their 5th Lombardi Trophy. Everyone on the train was excited and happy and wet, very very wet. But above all, we were proud. So proud to be from this great city and so proud of the team that we get to call ours. It may sound silly because these feelings of community , inspiration, and just simple happiness all came from a football game but that’s why sports are such an important part of society, because it’s serves as a common ground for so many of us when sometimes, that’s all we may be able to agree on. 

Cheers to sports and yoga and parades and #PATRIOTSNATION!!!

Lots of love & light,

Jessy

Advertisement

Pup-ternity

Yesterday, I packed up my HomeGoods Happy desk and walked out the TJX doors for the last time. When I got in the car, Roar by Katy Perry was playing on the radio and the moment almost didn’t feel real. I haven’t had the most ideal time since returning in January but I am still thankful for the years that I spent there as I learned a lot about marketing and even more about myself. Most importantly, I met some wonderful individuals. Some that I know our bonds will last far beyond the TJX walls. 

I had just gotten “associate of the quarter” so lucky for my co-workers, my mug will be up in the cafe for a little bit longer in case they miss me. 👍🏼Mandy girl, give it a tap on water loops. 🖐🏼#missmyworkwifealready

  
SO, what’s next for me?! I’m really excited to say that I will be starting on Friday with the ALS TDI, a nonprofit in Cambridge that focuses solely on finding a cure for ALS. I will be continuing in the marketing field and (hopefully) bringing my digital expertise and ideas to the organization. I am so excited about this opportunity as my hope is that I can feel more passionate about my work and know that I am contributing to something that really matters. Hopefully, the work I do will help make a difference in people’s lives. It’s a BIG change from what I’ve done in the past but change is always a good thing and I have a feeling this is a good thing. 

But before I begin with the new company, I get a three day pup-ternity. Yup, that’s right. Three blissful days as a stay-at-home-pup-mom. I’ve waited, literally, years for this little fur baby to come home so I can barely believe that she’s actually sitting on my lap as I write this post! Mike and I picked Miss Phoebe up Friday and it was one of the most exciting moments of my life. She already is bringing us so much joy and even more snuggles!

   
    
    
    
    
 
Is she not the cutest little thing in the world? 

On my to-do list today was clean the house, organize my clothes, do some errands, workout, do yoga, get some paperwork done and play with Phoebe. Here’s what I checked off the list: played with Phoebe. I am writing this, still in my pajamas, snuggled on the couch with my little angel and so the fact that I got “nothing” done today is okay. You don’t get too many days like this and so I’m smiling thinking about the mommy and fur baby bonding day we got to have. With the risk of sounding self-indulgent, I’d say I deserve it. 

   
 
Lastly, I want to say thank you to everybody who’s been so kind and supportive to me over the past (almost) 2 years. Being able to move on from TJX and also become a pup mom is a big step for me and I couldn’t have done it without the support I’ve felt from the many many incredible people in my life. 

Lots of love, light & puppy kisses,

Jessy 

The Truth About Monday’s

This is how I actually feel about today being Monday. 

#Done

 
Here’s how I want to feel on a Monday…

   
 
I don’t know if I’ll ever be that excited about a weekend ending and a new work week beginning but a girl can dream, can’t she?! 

We all have something to learn from Tom Terrific. Not only is it great to always be fashionable but it’s equally great to always be passionate. It’s great to always be driven, and to work really, really hard. It’s great to have a dream and keep on chugging until you reach that goal. And of course, it’s great to be the GREATEST OF ALL-TIME. So whatever it is you do, be the #GOAT.

  

Here’s to hoping we all have a week full of passion and excitement. Go get ‘Em Tigers!!!

Lots of love & light,

Jessy

Saturday = Make Yourself Happy Day 

This summer, I have so enjoyed every day I’ve been blessed enough to spend outside, soaking up the beautiful sunshine and being near or on the rejuvenating water. I feel so connected to our world, the earth and my inner self when I’m on the water, listening to the waves crash, watching the sun set on top of the ripples, and hearing the animals live naturally in their homes. I feel instantly grateful for the moment and for the day and life I’ve been given.

   
 Since these warm summer days on the water are limited in New England and we are closing in on our final days of sun rays and waves, I’ve tried to get out and active as much as possible. Theres a lovely state park near work that I’m able to rent paddle boards and go out on the lake so I’ve been doing that frequently after work. I’ll tell you, it makes such a difference. No matter how stressful the day was or how hectic it felt, standing on top of the water and rowing myself further and further away from land pushes away the worries of the day and brings my mind back to what’s really important and where my focus should truly be. I love the alone time, getting to be with just me, my thoughts and the sweet sounds of birds chirping, fish swimming and water moving. It’s peaceful and it’s always makes me feel a true sense of peace and happiness. 

  
Today, however, I had my favorite partner next to me. My Michael. We spent our morning at outdoor yoga in front of the Mystic River here in Somerville, drank our coffees and read our books in the park, and then put on our bathing suits and rented some boards to paddle down the Charles River. The wind was strong but we were together and enjoying the beauty that Saturday’s in New England in August have to offer.

  

  

  
Saturday’s should be called, “make yourself happy day” because we work hard all week, maybe doing things that we really aren’t passionate about but the majority of us are lucky enough to get two days a week to focus on ourself. It’s the time to make ourselves happy, make our inner beings smile. Whatever that means for you, I hope that’s what this day brings to you. 

Lots of love & light, 

Jessy 

Days full of sunshine & happiness 

Well, what a 6 days it was. It has been two years since Mike and I stayed in Portland and it was that trip that we “discovered” Peaks Island….  
That weekend was really special, not for any reason other than the fact that we got to relax and explore a new place together. The day we spent on Peaks Island, biking around the small village, looking at the beautiful ocean views off the cliffs and watching ferry boats come in and out as we ate and drank beers, is one of my all-time favorite days ever. During difficult and painful procedures throughout the past year, the doctors or nurses would tell me to try to relax and imagine I was in my favorite place in the world. Every time, I found myself on Peaks with my Michael. This unplanned, quick visit of a small island on the outskirts of Maine has brought me so much peace of mind and strength when I’ve needed it most. So to be healthy enough to be back there, with Mike, was magical. What’s more magical is that this trip was made possible because of the kindness and generosity of other people. Because a group of team members at HomeGoods started a pool last year and made me this beautiful booklet (that’s what happens when you have an incredibly talented art director heading up the project) to explain that they wanted me to “go back to peaks” for some rest and relaxation to make up for our cancelled Domincan trip in March 2014. This is from a team, I actually no longer get to work with at TJX, as I had been transferred to our Marmaxx division before getting diagnosed. But they came together to do something out of the kindness of their hearts just to make me smile. How lucky am I? These are the people who will ALWAYS be my TJX work family because they truly care about me as a human and not a number or just another employee. It’s a true blessing to have this type of connection and bond with people at work, so although I do not get to work with them regularly anymore, I will always be grateful of the relationships I was able to cultivate during my time with the most fabulous brand in all the land, HomeGoods.

With all that said, I want to share a few pictures with you all of our much-needed days away in Maine.

It started with a lake house with friends on Friday…

   
 
Then we headed to the beach near Portland where we went for long walks during the day and stayed at the Portland Harbor Hotel at night. I treated myself to a bath for FOUR days in a row. How much more relaxed does it get than that?! We ate at some of the most delicious restaurants, including Holy Donut. Wow, is Portland a winner for foodies! 

   
    
    
    
 
Then we packed it up, and took the ferry over to Peaks Island and stayed in a gorgeous little Inn. We started off by renting golf carts to explore the island where we found an old war cave/gun storage thing that is now completely full of graffiti but there’s such a beauty to it. We also spent time walking on the beach and making rock castles on a cliff with about 100 other “castles.” It’s like a natural version of Jenga, so cool!

   
    
    
    
    
   
We spent the next day riding our bikes, laying in the beach and HORSE BACK RIDING! Something I’ve wanted to do together for so long so it was so amazing to make it a reality. 

   
    
   
    
   
   

Yesterday it was back to reality. It was back to the hospital (but my numbers all look great so there’s nothing else I could ask for). 

   
   
And today I headed back to the office. However, I’m refusing to let my outdoor adventures cease so I headed to a state park across the street from work after I got out and rented myself a paddle board which I took out for almost two hours– paddling and stopping to do yoga on the water. How amazing! Now I’m sitting on the little beach here, watching kids splash around in be water and writing this post. Looks like even work days can be transformed into good days. 

  
I hope you have had a wonderful week and just think, tomorrow is FRIYAY!!!!! F

Lots of love and light,

Jessy 

Coming Off the Vacation High 

Welp, vacation is officially over. It’s back to work tomorrow morning. Back to inside all day, back to meetings, back to waking up early, back to long days. Back to “reality.” I hope that one day my day-to-day “reality” is something that I’m excited about and feel good about myself doing, but for now, I’m sure you can feel my level of excitement through my words– not thrilled. 

I did, however, do a good job concentrating on the days and moments I had while I was having them. Sometimes on vacations in the past, I’ve spent too much time thinking about how much time I have left or how much work I’ll have when I’m back but if thoughts like that entered my mind, I tried to bring my thoughts to what was going on right now instead of focusing on days ahead. It makes a difference.

So now, as I have begun to stress out about the week ahead and am beginning to feel like I’m drowning in negative thoughts, it’s time for me to remember what an amazing 10 days I’ve had. 

Days full of kayaking with my love.

   
    
 
Lobster, fried clams, clam chowder and more lobster.    

    
   
Days starting with Mary Lou’s Coffee every morning. 

  
 
Fishing off the dock.    

 Playtime with my favorite puppy    

    
   
Playtime with my beautiful, crazy, hilarious, sass monster of a niece.    

    
    
 
Swimming in the amazing ocean.    

    
   
Relaxing and taking in the gorgeous scenery around us. 

  
   
And overall, just enjoying moments with my wonderful family. 

    
    
    
    
    
 
It ended today with a day celebrating our little Princess Elle, who turns 4 this Wednesday. 

  
 
What a lucky lady I am. So many memories made this past week with the people that matter most to me. Blessed would be an understatement.

XOXO,

Jessy 

A Slap of Reality

It’s been almost a month since I’ve been back at work. I’m coming in early, leaving late, chugging through long days. Overall, just really feeling the stresses of being a working girl again. And I have to admit, I love it. I don’t like waking up early (obviouslyyyy) but I like waking up with a day full of productivity and socialization in front of me. That was something in the past year I struggled with so much. I often laid in bed for long periods of time after waking up because I simply couldn’t reason with myself of why I needed to get up. So it feels incredible to be making my to-go coffee and heading out the door in the morning. Beyond work, I’ve been back to practicing yoga and going to the gym. Exercising feels awesome because I know it’s something good I’m doing for my body. With so many harsh toxins going into me every week, it feels only fair that I would give this body of mine something to feel good about. Another piece of really exciting news is I got a new car— WOOO HOOO!!!! I’ve only ever owned sh*t boxes (proud owners of them though since I saved my own money in both high school and college to be able to purchase them), but after rear ending some lovely lady that also works at TJX (another story, another time), I said goodbye to Carmen Elantra and got my dream car…a 2012 Hyundai Sante Fe- beep beep! New car, back to work, back to exercising, and back to eating and drinking! My pancreas has really done a 180 and I’ve been off pain meds for over a month and am eating practically a normal diet again! Mike and I even had nachos the other weekend and after over 6 months of not having them, we were in HEAVEN! I’ve also been able to have some drinks lately, which if you’ve read my blog in the past year or know me even slightly, you know that that’s a big deal. It makes me sound like a lush but so be it… I like to have drinks. I like drinking beers and watching the Pats. I like having a glass of red after a long day of work. I like having margaritas with my tacos or going to hotel bars with Michael and getting house snack mix and martinis. I like being Champagnes Moran. And Champagnes Moran I was two weekends ago. Mike and I had an awesome night just the two of us going out to dinner then heading over to a new bar for after dinner drinks…it just felt normal. And that feeling of normal gave me such a sense of pure happiness, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, I felt amazing. I felt like “Jessy” was finally back in action!

IMG_5262
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAAAAAAAULLTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s what it felt like. That’s what getting pancreatitis and being hospitalized for it for the fourth time a week ago felt like. A W-T-F moment. A “no! no! no!” moment. A “this can’t be happening” moment. It felt like a punch in the gut…literally. My life had just gotten back to my new normal. I was feeling like me again. Life was being good to me. And then I go in to have my stent removed on Friday and the stent gave the doctors trouble coming out. So much so that it broke in half while they were in there. So with that much struggle going on, my pancreas got “upset” and pancreatitis hit me again. I spent 28 hours in the emergency department before being transferred to a hospital room and another day asking when I could get transferred to 7D. We watched the Pats game on a 13 inch TV with no apps and no beers. (but with the company of some of my favorite people, Mike, my mom and Dr. Mandy!).
IMG_5251
I sat in a hospital bed trying to get as much work done as possible as I couldn’t bear thinking I was taking more time off after just coming back from being out for 11 months. I’m back on pain medicine and wearing my stupid heating pad day and night. I got released Tuesday night and was back to work by Thursday. It was such a hard week and I’m so glad it’s Saturday. Having a taste of my normal life again and having it taken away again is a lot to handle. I started crying really hard when I got home from work yesterday while I was talking to my mom… I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. It feels SO unfair this time. Everytime has felt unfair but this time just seems like too much. Having what I’ve wanted back this entire year— normalcy— and then having it taken away one more time is more painful than I can really put into words. Mike came home just as I was sitting there sobbing on the couch and for the millionth time this year, he gave me a hug, kissed my forehead and talked to me about it until I felt better. I had been trying to just “keep marching along” and pretend like this was something “I’ve done before, I can do it again” but it’s more than that this time. It’s frustration to a whole new level. But after crying and talking it out, I felt better. I’m already one week down. I’m already out of the hospital which is a lot better than the first three times. I’m back at work and have something to keep my mind off it. It’s likely that it won’t take as long to heal this time. And there’s no more stent in me which means no more endoscopies which hopefully means this truly is the last time I’ll deal with pancreatitis.
AND lastly, the Patriots are Super Bowl Champions. So really, life is still pretty good.
IMG_5252
Happy weekend everyone!
XOXO,
Jessy

When Life Hands You Apples, Make Applesauce

Just before my first pancreatisis attack, I met with a few girls from work for coffee. It was so great to see them and feel a part of the team again. They had asked to get together so they could give me something a whole group of people had put together for me. As many of you know (and working with me every day, you can imagine how much they heard about it!), Mike and I had a trip planned to the Dominican in March. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed just a week and a half before and we weren’t able to go. Really, really disappointing. So my coworkers, being the amazing and thoughtful people that they are, all chipped in to be able to send Mike and I on a little get-away weekend to Peaks Island, Maine to make up for it! Peaks Island is right off of Portland and Mike and I had discovered it last summer. It’s about 3 miles wide and the cutest, most quaint little island I’ve ever been to. We had had such a relaxing and special day there; biking around the island, laying on the beach, watching people ride horses along the water, drinking summer beers on an ocean deck restaurant as we let one more ferry come and go, not wanting to head home. It was a day that for some reason really meant something to me and I have often thought of it when I’m feeling down. It’s become kind of like a happy place for me when I need to think of something good. (I digress!) So when so many of my co-workers (some that don’t even work at TJX anymore!) came together to surprise me with this, I was floored. It was so over-the-top generous and thoughtful, I truly was touched. So Mike and I picked a weekend, made the reservations and started making plans for our little fall getaway to Peaks Island, Maine.

It was scheduled for this weekend. We were in Somerville this weekend. Boo. We felt like we had to cancel because I’m still recovering from pancreatitis, I’m still on the feeding tube at night and it probably would have been too much to be gone for the whole weekend. I was so disappointed as I was really looking forward to a relaxing weekend, out of the house, out of the city, just with Mike, in a place that really meant something to me. It felt unfair that something else got “taken away” from me. But as Mike reminded me, we have next summer and maybe at that point I’ll be feeling 10x better (hopefully will even be able to have a beer on that deck) so I’ll be able to enjoy it even more than I would have this weekend!
So we turned apples into applesauce (I actually did that today! But I meant the expression! ) and had ourselves a pretty fun filled weekend for a “couple with cancer.” Friday we stayed in but cooked turkey burgers together (yes, I was able to eat a turkey burger— wahoo!). Then Saturday we went to the largest corn maze in the world with two of our best friends and 2 1/2 hours later completed that. Came home and went out to a fabulous Italian restaurant near our house that we haven’t been to in a while and had a great meal together (I’m able to eat pasta now too — even bigger wahoo!). Sunday we walked around the Boston Public Gardens and window-shopped on Newbury St. just for fun. Came home to watch football, nap on the couch with the fireplace going and make another pancreatitis-approved meal— turkey tacos! And then we had one more day- Monday! Mike had taken it off originally for Peaks Island so he kept it so we could have a three-day weekend. We kept the fall-fun going and trucked it up to North Andover to a great little farm that we could  pick our own pumpkins. And that we did. Picked them and then came home and carved them— pretty decently if I do say so myself. 🙂 Overall, it ended up being a fabulous weekend. I hadn’t expected it to be because I was angry about not being able to go away but as life has taught me this year, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches and make the best of what you’ve been given. And this weekend, I was given a great few days.
Hope you all had a lovely fall weekend as well!
XOXO,
Jessy
pumpkin