Pup-ternity

Yesterday, I packed up my HomeGoods Happy desk and walked out the TJX doors for the last time. When I got in the car, Roar by Katy Perry was playing on the radio and the moment almost didn’t feel real. I haven’t had the most ideal time since returning in January but I am still thankful for the years that I spent there as I learned a lot about marketing and even more about myself. Most importantly, I met some wonderful individuals. Some that I know our bonds will last far beyond the TJX walls. 

I had just gotten “associate of the quarter” so lucky for my co-workers, my mug will be up in the cafe for a little bit longer in case they miss me. 👍🏼Mandy girl, give it a tap on water loops. 🖐🏼#missmyworkwifealready

  
SO, what’s next for me?! I’m really excited to say that I will be starting on Friday with the ALS TDI, a nonprofit in Cambridge that focuses solely on finding a cure for ALS. I will be continuing in the marketing field and (hopefully) bringing my digital expertise and ideas to the organization. I am so excited about this opportunity as my hope is that I can feel more passionate about my work and know that I am contributing to something that really matters. Hopefully, the work I do will help make a difference in people’s lives. It’s a BIG change from what I’ve done in the past but change is always a good thing and I have a feeling this is a good thing. 

But before I begin with the new company, I get a three day pup-ternity. Yup, that’s right. Three blissful days as a stay-at-home-pup-mom. I’ve waited, literally, years for this little fur baby to come home so I can barely believe that she’s actually sitting on my lap as I write this post! Mike and I picked Miss Phoebe up Friday and it was one of the most exciting moments of my life. She already is bringing us so much joy and even more snuggles!

   
    
    
    
    
 
Is she not the cutest little thing in the world? 

On my to-do list today was clean the house, organize my clothes, do some errands, workout, do yoga, get some paperwork done and play with Phoebe. Here’s what I checked off the list: played with Phoebe. I am writing this, still in my pajamas, snuggled on the couch with my little angel and so the fact that I got “nothing” done today is okay. You don’t get too many days like this and so I’m smiling thinking about the mommy and fur baby bonding day we got to have. With the risk of sounding self-indulgent, I’d say I deserve it. 

   
 
Lastly, I want to say thank you to everybody who’s been so kind and supportive to me over the past (almost) 2 years. Being able to move on from TJX and also become a pup mom is a big step for me and I couldn’t have done it without the support I’ve felt from the many many incredible people in my life. 

Lots of love, light & puppy kisses,

Jessy 

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Out of the Woods

Today is my second to last day at TJX. Tonight is my first night as a pup mommy. It’s a big day. One that I have waited for what feels like forever. 
I took a walk in a wooded path near the office to get my thoughts together this morning. It’s November and it’s 70 degrees out and I’m in jeans and a tshirt at 730 in the morning, what are the chances?! I was listening to Florence & the Machines, and kept closing my eyes as I felt the sun beat down on my face. I felt lucky. As I was briskly walking out of the woods, I took a deep breath and had this outer body-like experience that I finally was coming out of the woods. I felt like I was watching myself closing the chapter on this time of my life. A beautiful, little bit selfish, crazy time in my life. In its own weird way, it was a wonderful time. It had lots of ups and downs and I focused on myself mostly. My career, my happiness, my needs. But now I feel like I’m ready to begin focusing on others more often- by having my work help others and by taking care of a living breathing thing that’s not me– it’s a Phoebe!!!! I came back down to earth and realized I still have today and Monday to get thru at TJX but I’ve made it. I’ve finally taken the step I’ve been wanting to take to change my life for the better. 
This day is a gift. This time in my life is a gift. I am excited. I am nervous. I am grateful. 
Thanks for always being here, 

Jessy  

 

The Truth About Monday’s

This is how I actually feel about today being Monday. 

#Done

 
Here’s how I want to feel on a Monday…

   
 
I don’t know if I’ll ever be that excited about a weekend ending and a new work week beginning but a girl can dream, can’t she?! 

We all have something to learn from Tom Terrific. Not only is it great to always be fashionable but it’s equally great to always be passionate. It’s great to always be driven, and to work really, really hard. It’s great to have a dream and keep on chugging until you reach that goal. And of course, it’s great to be the GREATEST OF ALL-TIME. So whatever it is you do, be the #GOAT.

  

Here’s to hoping we all have a week full of passion and excitement. Go get ‘Em Tigers!!!

Lots of love & light,

Jessy

Fall Fiesta

When it’s cold outside, and we’ve been cooped up inside for days, remind me of days like this…

When I woke up and headed to a corn maze with three of my favorite people in the world.  And sipped on delicious hot apple cider.  

And then picked pumpkins that we’ll carve into jack-o-lanterns and continued to use my selfie stick to capture the moments (best purchase ever, no shame here). 

    
 And then came home and thought, what better day to go for a run!? So I strapped on my yoga pants and sneakers and headed down to the good old Mystic River in Somerville. I decided to take a new route and found a great, long path right along the water. I feel so happy when I’m near the water, doesn’t matter what kind, even if I have the highway to my left, as long as I have the river to my right, I feel a little more at peace than typical. And then as I continued to run I came along a three story lookout tower that I marched right up, did some sun salutations, looked out onto the Boston skyline that I love so much, felt the sunshine on my face and felt so grateful for the moment that was upon me. Healthy enough to be running again, strong enough to climb flights of stairs and in a good enough place mentally to be able to feel the sunshine on my face, totally alone and realize how lucky I truly am. And okay enough with myself to laugh at how crazy my hair has become. 

   
   
Then I picked up some fall essentials to decorate our front steps, because honestly a decorated house is a happy house. And a happy house is a happy me. 

   
 
Now I’m sitting in my Brady jersey & sweat pants, with pulled pork on the oven (thanks to the best boyfriend in America), and a good old O’Doules in hand with my snuggley guy. 

  
Fall is a special time of the year in New England. 

Life is good today. 

Remind me of this day in January. 

Lots of love & light,

Jessy 

When Life Hands You Apples, Make Applesauce

Just before my first pancreatisis attack, I met with a few girls from work for coffee. It was so great to see them and feel a part of the team again. They had asked to get together so they could give me something a whole group of people had put together for me. As many of you know (and working with me every day, you can imagine how much they heard about it!), Mike and I had a trip planned to the Dominican in March. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed just a week and a half before and we weren’t able to go. Really, really disappointing. So my coworkers, being the amazing and thoughtful people that they are, all chipped in to be able to send Mike and I on a little get-away weekend to Peaks Island, Maine to make up for it! Peaks Island is right off of Portland and Mike and I had discovered it last summer. It’s about 3 miles wide and the cutest, most quaint little island I’ve ever been to. We had had such a relaxing and special day there; biking around the island, laying on the beach, watching people ride horses along the water, drinking summer beers on an ocean deck restaurant as we let one more ferry come and go, not wanting to head home. It was a day that for some reason really meant something to me and I have often thought of it when I’m feeling down. It’s become kind of like a happy place for me when I need to think of something good. (I digress!) So when so many of my co-workers (some that don’t even work at TJX anymore!) came together to surprise me with this, I was floored. It was so over-the-top generous and thoughtful, I truly was touched. So Mike and I picked a weekend, made the reservations and started making plans for our little fall getaway to Peaks Island, Maine.

It was scheduled for this weekend. We were in Somerville this weekend. Boo. We felt like we had to cancel because I’m still recovering from pancreatitis, I’m still on the feeding tube at night and it probably would have been too much to be gone for the whole weekend. I was so disappointed as I was really looking forward to a relaxing weekend, out of the house, out of the city, just with Mike, in a place that really meant something to me. It felt unfair that something else got “taken away” from me. But as Mike reminded me, we have next summer and maybe at that point I’ll be feeling 10x better (hopefully will even be able to have a beer on that deck) so I’ll be able to enjoy it even more than I would have this weekend!
So we turned apples into applesauce (I actually did that today! But I meant the expression! ) and had ourselves a pretty fun filled weekend for a “couple with cancer.” Friday we stayed in but cooked turkey burgers together (yes, I was able to eat a turkey burger— wahoo!). Then Saturday we went to the largest corn maze in the world with two of our best friends and 2 1/2 hours later completed that. Came home and went out to a fabulous Italian restaurant near our house that we haven’t been to in a while and had a great meal together (I’m able to eat pasta now too — even bigger wahoo!). Sunday we walked around the Boston Public Gardens and window-shopped on Newbury St. just for fun. Came home to watch football, nap on the couch with the fireplace going and make another pancreatitis-approved meal— turkey tacos! And then we had one more day- Monday! Mike had taken it off originally for Peaks Island so he kept it so we could have a three-day weekend. We kept the fall-fun going and trucked it up to North Andover to a great little farm that we could  pick our own pumpkins. And that we did. Picked them and then came home and carved them— pretty decently if I do say so myself. 🙂 Overall, it ended up being a fabulous weekend. I hadn’t expected it to be because I was angry about not being able to go away but as life has taught me this year, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches and make the best of what you’ve been given. And this weekend, I was given a great few days.
Hope you all had a lovely fall weekend as well!
XOXO,
Jessy
pumpkin

Glorious Life

I did something stupid today. I clicked and clicked and clicked through old pictures on Facebook. One by one I went further and further back in time. It was like sinking into a hole. A hole of memories of fun times, times with my family and friends and even coworkers that I want back so bad. Looking back at these pictures make me smile because I’ve had such an amazing life but they bring me down as well because I miss that life so much. Mike and I used to always say we have such a “glorious life.” After fun weekends and things we’d do together, we’d always look at each other and say “ughh glorious life, glorious life!” Today when I was scrolling through the pictures, I realized we haven’t said that in a long time. And that, that made me sad.

I haven’t written a post in a week and that’s because I’ve honestly been busy! My amazing mother has taken time off of work to be with me during the days. She did it for two reasons, one being that I’m connected to a feeding tube for 14 hours at night and I need help getting disconnected in the morning. Second and honestly more important is to just be with me during the day so that I don’t have to be by myself all day, everyday. I was trying to make it work but spending all day by yourself is draining and depressing so having her here has made a huge difference. We’ve gone apple picking, painted our nails, visited with my niece, done some shopping, baked breads, gone for long walks and this morning we even went to a fashion show at Saks Fifth Avenue (boy were we rubbing elbows with the other half!). I’m so lucky that she’s able to do this for me.
Keeping busy when I can and having my mom with me has made my days so much better. They go by faster and I’m happier getting to interact with people and getting to spend so much quality time with my mom. But our “glorious life” still feels like it’s on pause right now which is hard. There’s an empty, bland sort of feeling you get inside when you don’t feel like you’re living your life to the fullest of potential. In reality, I know that I’m not “not living life to the fullest of potential” (because God knows i’m trying) but sometimes it feels like that when I’m stuck at home or sitting in the waiting room of the hospital (which is 75% of the visits). There’s just so much time waiting, sitting, resting, that my mind begins to wander off to what my life was or used to be. But as my mom reminded me today, I’ll get it back. It’ll never be the same but maybe it’ll be better. I’m going to keep on fighting, with the help of my family and friends, until saying “glorious life” is back into my repertoire of weekly phrases.
XOXO,
Jessy
here’s my crazy but incredible mother. aka Mom-cologist!
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