The Fabric of Life

Did people talk to each other on public transportation before mobile devices? 
I’m working downtown for my new job and it’s easiest to take the train. Everyday I become more fascinated by how so many individuals can be in one location and nobody talks to each other. Nobody even makes eye contact. Most people are on their phones, texting, listening to music, checking emails, reading. Clearly, many are connecting with other people- just none of the other humans near them. It’s such a weird concept- kind of like being on an elevator – to be sharing, many times, super personal space with another individual but make no connection. Why is that? I’m totally guilty as I listen to my music and people watch. I probably would text or email or go on social media if I could but I’d crush my data in a day so I don’t. As I people watch, it’s interesting to see everyone’s moods, expressions, attitudes. Hundreds of people packing into a single object like a can of sardines most likely to do the same thing- go to work or to go home from work- but rarely is an acknowledgement made.

Even though the vast majority of us are riding the train for the same reason, it’s different than when we go on the train to go to a Celtics game- those rides, there’s a clear sense of comeroddery- we act nice towards others because we know we’re rooting for the same team, we’re doing the same thing- we must be “like each other.” But aren’t we all like each other when we’re going to work too? Just trying to make a few bucks to help put food on the table, a roof over our heads, pay for cable, save up for that vacation, to spoil our pets. 

Since I’m taking the train twice a day now, every time I get on, I think about this concept and it’s been kind of bumming me out. But then I was walking to Sullivan Station one morning and I notice some new graffiti below the underpass. 


“Even though I don’t know you, I need you….. #FabricOfOurLife”

And there it is. I’m not the only one feeling the disconnect with one another. Whoever this person is, they feel it too. 

I’m not sure how long Somerville authorities will keep this one up, but I hope they do for a little while- it made me think. I think it’ll make others think.

We may not know each other but we all need one another. I’m going to remember this before I make eye contact with someone on the train and quickly look away… maybe tomorrow, I take the time to smile. Who knows, that person could use a smile. 

3 Months in the Making

I haven’t written a blog post since my port was removed. That was March 13.  
I thought that by not writing about cancer or talking about cancer, I wouldn’t think about cancer. But there’s still not a day that goes by that I don’t think about it. To be honest, there’s hardly an hour that goes by without it popping into my mind. 

Is writing like riding a bike?

Can you not write for years and then start back up again- like you never stopped? 

I hope so, cuz I’m ready to start riding again. Wait, I mean writing. 

Four months of being a stay-at-home pup mom brings up a lot of emotions and they varied everyday. One day I would be jacked up when Mike got home, so excited to talk to someone- to a HUMAN! Omg! And then others I’d be down, unable to keep a conversation because I felt so bad about myself. I felt guilty that I didn’t have a job, I wasn’t making money for our family, and that I didn’t have a better direction of where I wanted to go than I did the day before. I over-compensated by trying to do every single household chore one can think of. I became an award-winning chef. I got to spend time with family members that I know I wouldn’t have been able to if I had been working full time. There was so much good that happened in these months yet some days seemed so very difficult, so lonely and sad. What I learned, is that I need some sort of structure, I need to have a purpose, I need to feel part of a team. More than be part but I need to feel like I’m an equal part to the team. It’s essential to my happiness. Without it, I feel unworthy. Whether or not that’s a healthy realization, that’s yet to be determined. But it certainly is true for me. I’ve begun telling myself “I am worthy” during meditation. That’s because I am. But I don’t always believe it. I don’t always believe that I am worthy of this life I have been given- one with many abundances, many positive relationships, and above all, one that is healthy again. Feeling worthy is essential. It’s a piece of life I definitely haven’t mastered but I’m working on. I hope you read this and remind yourself that you’re worthy too. You’re worthy of all the good things that have happened to you, you’re worthy of all the blessings you’ve been given, you’re worthy of this life… your life. 

With that simple post, I feel accomplished and I feel like I can start writing again. I’ve had my down moments in the past 3-4 months but I also have had amazing moments- I’ve gone tubing with my whole family, I’ve helped throw and had my own bridal shower & bachelorette party! I’ve traveled to Vermont, Florida and Austin. I’ve gone on long walks with phoebs on the beach. I watched my baby brother graduate college. I’ve gone to sporting games and concerts. I picked out my WEDDING ring! I’ve done SO much actually now that I’m looking back. And the best part is that new things are happening and there’s so much more to look forward to! I want to remember every bit of it… so it’s time to start documenting!

Happy weekend! Hoping you get to soak up the rays of sun that have finally decided to come out to play! ☀️

Love & light,

Jessy 

Not Just Another Day

Back to Motivational Monday. I’m sorry I’ve been a bit off the track lately but I’m back on.

I loved this quote. With all the new beginnings in my life right now, it really spoke to me. But what I also realize is that you don’t need big changes in your life to embrace this mantra. Every day we wake up and take a deep beautiful breath, we have been given the opportunity to do something spectacular. We’ve been given another chance to make ourselves happy. We’ve been given another opportunity to make someone else happy. We’ve been given another opportunity to make the world a better place.

Every day is another opportunity to take control of your life and embrace a new beginning, even if all that’s new is a new week. Embrace it, make it great.

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Lots of love & light,

Jessy

 

 

Motivational Monday

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I love this quote. So often we look at things with a “you win, you lose” attitude. One or the other. Black and white. But this puts the perfect positive spin on it— “losing” isn’t fun but life isn’t about winning every race. So when you don’t come out on top, sometimes that’s when the beauty comes out and you learn an incredible amount. Always having things go the way you want doesn’t always allow for true growth to happen. Hey, I never would’ve considered being diagnosed with leukemia as a “win” but I’ve learned and learned and learned so how can I look at it as a total loss? I can’t.

So seize the day— relish in your little wins and learn from those bumps along the way. It’ll be worth it in the end!

Happy Monday— go crush this day like the warrior you are!

Lots of love and light,

Jessy

Memories as Motivation

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This weekend, I went to the Taylor Swift concert with 7 of my girlfriends. It was such an amazing time– first because her show was SO good and secondly because I got to spend quality time with people that mean a lot to me. I had been looking forward to this day for almost 7 months as we purchased the tickets in December! So I felt a little sad yesterday that it’s “ already”over! That always seems to happen after big events, we look forward to them for so long that it feels like a let down once it’s in the past. But I shouldn’t view it as a let down, I should view it as a blessing. I was so lucky that I got to see an artist I love live, that I got to dance under the stars and hold hands and sing out loud with my best friends.

So today I remind you, as I’m reminding myself, that it’s important to try to look back at good times and not think “so sad it’s over” but rather “I’m so grateful that it happened.” Grateful that it happened and determined to make more memories like that a reality. Dream BIG and push HARD to make the memories you want in life.

Lots of love & light,

Jessy

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Happy Monday

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When I was younger, I used to love to dance in the rain. In fact, when it would rain, I’d ask my parents if I could get my bathing suit on and go stroll down the street with my umbrella and dance for the cars that would pass by, as we lived on a busy street. It sounds crazy, but that’s just me. I still love dancing and I still love the rain. I may not get in my bathing suit and do a show for the passing cars in Somerville but even as an adult, I love being outside in the summer rain– it’s rejuvenating and makes me feel refreshed and one with the world.

However, whenever I see rain on the forecast, my nose still crinkles and I think to myself, “boo i want sunshine.” Even though there’s great benefits to rain, it still feels like a disappointment when you don’t get to enjoy the outdoors and sunshine during these short summer months. But sometimes it’s important to remember that not every day can be sunshine, and nor should it. If everyday was perfect, the beautiful rainbows that pop out of the clouds when you least expect it wouldn’t be so magical.

This week, don’t let the rain showers in your life bog you down– embrace them, dance in them and whip your hair wildly in them! Have hope that the sunshine will come out again and there will be a colorful rainbow just beyond the bend to brighten your day.

Lots of love and light,

Jessy

Batter Up

About 23 years ago, me, my dad and my Bumpa had a special day at Fenway Park– I was lucky enough to be taken into the dugout and meet Johnny Pesky. I got an autographed bat and ball that Mo Vaughn had just practiced with. Being a NH girl, I’d like to think that was the day I fell in love with Boston and all of our sporting greatness. In two weeks, I’ll be back in the dugout. This time, waiting for my chance to take a swing at home plate on the best baseball field in the world. The amazing individuals that work at the Jimmy Fund reached out to me a few weeks ago and asked if I wanted to participate as they offer this experience to patients at  DFCI. At first, I was a little hesitant because although I was quite the softball player in the 90’s, I haven’t swung a bat in many many years. But then I thought, what the heck is the matter with me? When’s the next time I’m going to have the opportunity to bat at Fenway? The answer is probably never so time to pony up and make some memories..

As cool as it is that I get to do this, what’s even cooler is that it’s all in part to raise funds for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. This amazing day is put on as an effort to raise money for one amazing institution; one that is obviously very near and dear to my heart.

If you can afford to make a donation, please consider doing so. This is an incredible organization, one that not only saves the lives of its own patients but conducts research that is paving the way for treatments, preventions and cures to every kind of cancer– not just in our own backyard but all over the world. By donating to the Jimmy Fund, you are putting dollars towards putting an end to this dreaded disease once and for all. I’d say that’s a pretty great thing to put your hard earned dollars towards!

Here is the link to my fundraising page: http://www.jimmyfundfantasyday.org/2015/jessicamoran

Thank you so much for your support, I appreciate it more than I can put into words.

XOXO,

Jessy

p.s. In honor of my 21st century batting debut, I thought I’d throw it back to my younger years!

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