When I was younger, I used to love to dance in the rain. In fact, when it would rain, I’d ask my parents if I could get my bathing suit on and go stroll down the street with my umbrella and dance for the cars that would pass by, as we lived on a busy street. It sounds crazy, but that’s just me. I still love dancing and I still love the rain. I may not get in my bathing suit and do a show for the passing cars in Somerville but even as an adult, I love being outside in the summer rain– it’s rejuvenating and makes me feel refreshed and one with the world.
However, whenever I see rain on the forecast, my nose still crinkles and I think to myself, “boo i want sunshine.” Even though there’s great benefits to rain, it still feels like a disappointment when you don’t get to enjoy the outdoors and sunshine during these short summer months. But sometimes it’s important to remember that not every day can be sunshine, and nor should it. If everyday was perfect, the beautiful rainbows that pop out of the clouds when you least expect it wouldn’t be so magical.
This week, don’t let the rain showers in your life bog you down– embrace them, dance in them and whip your hair wildly in them! Have hope that the sunshine will come out again and there will be a colorful rainbow just beyond the bend to brighten your day.
Lots of love and light,
About 23 years ago, me, my dad and my Bumpa had a special day at Fenway Park– I was lucky enough to be taken into the dugout and meet Johnny Pesky. I got an autographed bat and ball that Mo Vaughn had just practiced with. Being a NH girl, I’d like to think that was the day I fell in love with Boston and all of our sporting greatness. In two weeks, I’ll be back in the dugout. This time, waiting for my chance to take a swing at home plate on the best baseball field in the world. The amazing individuals that work at the Jimmy Fund reached out to me a few weeks ago and asked if I wanted to participate as they offer this experience to patients at DFCI. At first, I was a little hesitant because although I was quite the softball player in the 90’s, I haven’t swung a bat in many many years. But then I thought, what the heck is the matter with me? When’s the next time I’m going to have the opportunity to bat at Fenway? The answer is probably never so time to pony up and make some memories..
As cool as it is that I get to do this, what’s even cooler is that it’s all in part to raise funds for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. This amazing day is put on as an effort to raise money for one amazing institution; one that is obviously very near and dear to my heart.
If you can afford to make a donation, please consider doing so. This is an incredible organization, one that not only saves the lives of its own patients but conducts research that is paving the way for treatments, preventions and cures to every kind of cancer– not just in our own backyard but all over the world. By donating to the Jimmy Fund, you are putting dollars towards putting an end to this dreaded disease once and for all. I’d say that’s a pretty great thing to put your hard earned dollars towards!
Here is the link to my fundraising page: http://www.jimmyfundfantasyday.org/2015/jessicamoran
Thank you so much for your support, I appreciate it more than I can put into words.
p.s. In honor of my 21st century batting debut, I thought I’d throw it back to my younger years!
I tend to always be thinking about “what’s my next move,” how I can improve my life, how I can get something better than what I have now. With all this dreaming of what’s next, it’s hard to truly appreciate what I have now. Monday’s tend to be the pinnacle of this mindset– “ugh, I don’t want to be here. I can’t wait for the weekend.” But I need to start reminding myself, that although my work life is far from my version of ideal, it’s still a good job and one that is providing me with the benefits that I need so badly at this moment. For that, I am lucky and I should be grateful. Plus, I have friends at work that make me laugh which is pretty awesome. If I was a lone chicken all day I’d be miserable. For so many months, I yearned to be able to work, to get up on a Monday morning and be productive all day. So it’s time to remember that, it’s time to really appreciate the beauty right outside my window.
Make today a good day. Take your life and make it something that makes you happy, not tomorrow but NOW.
Last night, Mike and I got home from a VERY early dinner and found ourselves watching “You’ve Got Mail” with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. It’s such a good, truly romantic movie, and one that I had never seen until last year. I realized while watching it last night, as the snow came tumbling down outside, that it was a year ago that Mike was in New Orleans for a bachelor party and I was home by myself watching this movie having a glass of white wine. A year ago, I had no idea what was about to come my way. As I sat there on the couch, I remember feeling fully stressed at what was “happening” to me. I knew something was wrong, I was in agony about every other day with shooting pains down my back and legs making me unable to not only walk but do anything but roll around in bed and yell in pain. I was having nose bleeds regularly and blood blisters on my lips. I had bruises all over my body that had no reason for being there. And I had headaches so bad, I started keeping a neck pillow in my car so I could have some sort of relief as I drove to and from work. But as worried as I felt, I truly couldn’t have imagined the news I was about to hear and the year I was about to have.
In “You’ve Got Mail,” Meg Ryan’s book store is forced to close down due to a large, conglomerate book store opening up just down the street. She’s tormented with the fact that the life she had envisioned for herself and grown accustomed to, is so abruptly taken away from her. As I watched last night, I empathized with her character so much more deeply than I had just one year ago, as our stories are not the same but I so understood how she felt getting her “life” ripped away from her. But by the end of the movie, she’s making the best out of a bad situation and turns out to be writing her own book and allows herself to truly follow her butterflies and finds herself in the arms of Tom Hanks. She lets life take the reigns and it leads her to happiness. That’s what I’m still trying to do, trying to let life take the reigns, follow the things that give me butterflies in life. Because one thing I’ve learned in this past year is that life’s too short, too precious and too unpredictable; you’ve really got to enjoy each day for what it is. Whether it’s a good day or bad day, just appreciate the day. Appreciate it because you’re lucky to be here and lucky to have what you do.
Today is my last official day “off” before heading back to work, and reality, this coming Monday. It has been a long eleven months of being either in the hospital or in this house watching as the time goes by. But one thing that always seemed to make me smile and make me laugh was to dance around the living room to one of my favorite songs. It brings out happiness even if it’s just for a few minutes. So today, in honor of my last day of getting to dance around by myself, I made a video dancing around to the one and only “Girl Almighty” by One Direction!
People always say “Dance like nobody’s watching.” Well, today, I’m dancing like everybody’s watching. And so should you! I challenge each and every person who reads this to dance today. And dance like you MEAN IT! And if you’re feeling up to it, make a video and tag it #dancelikeeveryoneswatching! I wanna see your moves! 🙂
Love you all!
Just before my first pancreatisis attack, I met with a few girls from work for coffee. It was so great to see them and feel a part of the team again. They had asked to get together so they could give me something a whole group of people had put together for me. As many of you know (and working with me every day, you can imagine how much they heard about it!), Mike and I had a trip planned to the Dominican in March. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed just a week and a half before and we weren’t able to go. Really, really disappointing. So my coworkers, being the amazing and thoughtful people that they are, all chipped in to be able to send Mike and I on a little get-away weekend to Peaks Island, Maine to make up for it! Peaks Island is right off of Portland and Mike and I had discovered it last summer. It’s about 3 miles wide and the cutest, most quaint little island I’ve ever been to. We had had such a relaxing and special day there; biking around the island, laying on the beach, watching people ride horses along the water, drinking summer beers on an ocean deck restaurant as we let one more ferry come and go, not wanting to head home. It was a day that for some reason really meant something to me and I have often thought of it when I’m feeling down. It’s become kind of like a happy place for me when I need to think of something good. (I digress!) So when so many of my co-workers (some that don’t even work at TJX anymore!) came together to surprise me with this, I was floored. It was so over-the-top generous and thoughtful, I truly was touched. So Mike and I picked a weekend, made the reservations and started making plans for our little fall getaway to Peaks Island, Maine.
It was scheduled for this weekend. We were in Somerville this weekend. Boo. We felt like we had to cancel because I’m still recovering from pancreatitis, I’m still on the feeding tube at night and it probably would have been too much to be gone for the whole weekend. I was so disappointed as I was really looking forward to a relaxing weekend, out of the house, out of the city, just with Mike, in a place that really meant something to me. It felt unfair that something else got “taken away” from me. But as Mike reminded me, we have next summer and maybe at that point I’ll be feeling 10x better (hopefully will even be able to have a beer on that deck) so I’ll be able to enjoy it even more than I would have this weekend!
So we turned apples into applesauce (I actually did that today! But I meant the expression! ) and had ourselves a pretty fun filled weekend for a “couple with cancer.” Friday we stayed in but cooked turkey burgers together (yes, I was able to eat a turkey burger— wahoo!). Then Saturday we went to the largest corn maze in the world with two of our best friends and 2 1/2 hours later completed that. Came home and went out to a fabulous Italian restaurant near our house that we haven’t been to in a while and had a great meal together (I’m able to eat pasta now too — even bigger wahoo!). Sunday we walked around the Boston Public Gardens and window-shopped on Newbury St. just for fun. Came home to watch football, nap on the couch with the fireplace going and make another pancreatitis-approved meal— turkey tacos! And then we had one more day- Monday! Mike had taken it off originally for Peaks Island so he kept it so we could have a three-day weekend. We kept the fall-fun going and trucked it up to North Andover to a great little farm that we could pick our own pumpkins. And that we did. Picked them and then came home and carved them— pretty decently if I do say so myself. 🙂 Overall, it ended up being a fabulous weekend. I hadn’t expected it to be because I was angry about not being able to go away but as life has taught me this year, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches and make the best of what you’ve been given. And this weekend, I was given a great few days.
Hope you all had a lovely fall weekend as well!
The Inspiration Initiative
I’ve decided to rename my blog because I want it to stand for something more than just me. More than just my trials, my tribulations, my hardships, my life. I want this blog to be a place that I share my story but also a place that people can go for inspiration, laughs and positive vibes when they need it in their own lives.
Not everyday can or will be sunshine and rainbows but it’s important to find the little things that make you feel a glimpse of warmth and light and that’s what I will try to ensure on this blog. I want The Inspiration Initiative to be a place that I go to share my zest for life and how I liked to live it with energy and passion. Equally as important, I want it to be a place that you can go to soak up some good energy rays and then go about your day.
The goal is simple: spread the smiles.
With that said, I hope everyone has a fabulous St. Paddy’s Day weekend and enjoys an extra green beer for me! I’ll be celebrating my favorite holiday a tad differently than expected but I will certainly still be celebrating! Slåinte
(Wait! What?!?! I have hair again? Nope, that’s a magical wig!)