Tag Archives: learn

Making Moves

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Last Monday I began an 8 week online course that focuses on career growth and exploration; trying to discover what you really want to do, what truly makes you happy. I signed up for this because as I’ve made mention to before, I feel a little lost right now at work. It could be because of what I’m doing, it could be because I don’t have the flexibility or freedom I fantasize about, it could be because I’m still bitter from the demotion, or it could be because I don’t feel like I’m helping anyone or making a difference in the world. Either way, I’m restless and I don’t love the feeling. And although I don’t feel like I can actually make moves anytime soon, I decided I can take baby steps towards finding a career that’s meaningful and makes me happy on a daily basis. That career could be right where I am today (in an upward trajectory of course haha) but I need to clarify that in my mind so I can stop second guessing myself.
I’m only one week into this course but I’m already finding it more challenging than I would’ve expected. Only because there’s a lot of “self reflection” so far and reflecting on yourself (and trying to be unbiased) is REALLY hard. When it asked me to list things that make me the happiest, I answered with things like, riding waves in the ocean, singing out loud in the car, feeling the sunshine on my face, dancing around my living room, cuddling with Mike, going for long walks, doing yoga outside. Although these things are all wonderful, none of them are qualities that can point me in the right direction of a career.  When asked for what people ask for my help on, I literally couldn’t think of one thing. When asked what I’m good at, I had a really hard time thinking of anything. I kept thinking, “well, I’m a people person” but that’s not a sellable quality. You can’t make a career out of being a people person.

So I’ve been feeling a little frustrated, I want so desperately to figure out what I’m supposed to do. I’m impatient, and I want to figure it out NOW. I overthink things and let my thoughts get the best of me. And this is one of the cases where I am overthinking the absolute crap out of everything. Honestly, it’s because I feel this overwhelming weight on my shoulders to make the most out of my life and since work is about 75% of your waking hours, that includes my job. I try to remind myself that I’m only 26, my whole life doesn’t need to be planned right now. But what I’ve also learned in the past year, is that life is short and it’s too short to be unhappy for too long. If you want a change, you have to make that change for yourself. Just like success in a job doesn’t come without effort, happiness doesn’t always come without effort either. You have to work for a promotion, work for a raise, and so forth you have to work for your happiness, you have to make a conscious effort to make changes to your life in order to be your happiest, most satisfied self.

Do you guys ever feel like this? What have you done to best optimize your work life? I’d love to hear from people!!

Now off to start my Week 2 packet…

XOXO,
Jessy

Push thru Tuesday Bluesday

Posted in Quotes by

“Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.” ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Having a hard time the past few days and really needed this reminder. Gotta make the best of what you’re given and pay as little attention to those negative vibes and feelings in your life.

Hope you all get through this Tuesday with good spirits and happy smiles!

XOXO,

Jessy

The New Normal

Posted in Inspiration by
For eleven months, all I’ve been dreaming of is getting my life back— in particular, going back to work and being able to have a drink. I’ve said it time and time again, and that time is finally here. And it’s really, really….weird. Going back to work last week was overwhelming and exciting all at the same time. I was so thrilled to be back in the “real” world (however I’d argue that my life has been pretty real this past year) but I had forgotten that the real world isn’t exactly what I had cracked it up to be. Back to cube land, back to meetings, back to traffic, back to getting up early and getting home late, back to work clothes and no pajamas. I had gotten very used to my life revolving around cancer, revolving around being as healthy as I could be, focusing solely on myself and getting better. My days were lonely and boring but in a way, I had grown accustomed to it. So getting back into the grind of working is proving to be more difficult than I had expected. Everything just feels different. Physically, the day tires me out much more than it ever has and since I’m still going through chemo, there’s things like achey-ness and headaches that I have to learn how to just push through. What’s more is that my mindset has shifted so much from where I was a year ago. I feel so lucky to be here, so grateful to be alive and able to go to work. However, this feeling like I’ve been given a second chance at life is a bit overwhelming. I want to make a difference in the world and help other people as so many people have helped me. Instead, I do social media for a company that makes billions of dollars a year, so in reality I’m just helping the rich get richer. I am so grateful to still have a job but I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around going back to a work life where nothing has changed while everything in my life has changed so drastically.
The beauty, however, of the working world is the pure bliss that the weekends give you. After one short week, I was quickly reminded of just how rewarding a Friday night on the couch with a glass of red wine feels. Wait, wine?!?! Yup! I am able to have some drinks again and it feels ahhhh-mazing! Saturday night we went to a bar for Mike’s birthday with a bunch of friends. As I was dancing around in the bathroom while I got ready, I realized how excited I was to go “out.” How just the act of doing my hair and makeup, something I’ve often complained about in the past, was making me so genuinely happy. I hadn’t gotten to go out like a normal 25 year old in almost a year and that night, I was getting to do that. It was SO fun to have fun.
The past week and a half has been a whirlwind of old experiences with a new attitude. And that attitude is gratitude. Gratitude that i’ve made it this far. Gratitude that I was able to go back to work, to have a drink with friends, to workout at the gym, to exercise at all, to eat normally again…that I’m able to have a life again. i’ve still got a long road ahead of me and a lot of work to do but I’ve come a long way. I’ve got myself a new normal and I’m just going to have to get used to it.
XOXO,
Jessy

Little Life Lessons Learned

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Yesterday was exactly one month from when I found out that I had leukemia. One month into what will be a long two years. I’m only one month in but in this one month I’ve learned more about life and what matters than I have in twenty-five years. And for that I’m grateful.

I’ve learned that you’re in this life by yourself — with or without you, the world is going to keep spinning and the sun will keep shining and that you have to find the strength within yourself to keep going even when life gives you a not-so-great hand.

I’ve learned at the exact same time that you’re nothing without your family and friends and that there is literally not one thing more important in this life than the relationships you create. Material items mean nothing. It’s the people that you surround yourself with that are important. They will be the ones to pick you up when you’ve fallen, tell you they love you and give you more hugs, kisses and support than you think you deserve.

I’ve learned to take help when you need it. Don’t let pride get in your way– people won’t offer to help if they don’t want to. So take it.

I’ve learned that I’m a lot stronger than I realized. That keeping a positive attitude in tough times, continuing to smile and believing in yourself is half the battle.

I’ve learned the power of a laugh. I’ve always loved laughing… who doesn’t? But I realized while Mike and I were driving to the grocery store two days ago and were hysterically laughing about something that that was the happiest I had been in a while. There’s really no better feeling (or therapy for that matter) than a good belly laugh. Laughter is happiness.

I’ve learned that faith matters– for me, it’s not about going to church and reciting memorized prayers but truly believing that there is something bigger in this life, something that can give you strength when you can’t seem to find it by yourself.

I’ve learned the power of being a good person. That doing little things for others matters. Bringing happiness to others brings happiness to your own life. Life’s a big circle and you will only get what you give.

I’ve learned that appearances matter more than they should but it’s just a reality of life. I’ve been very blessed to never have many self-image issues in the past but I find myself struggling the most right now with how I look. People say it doesn’t matter, it’s what’s inside that counts. And that’s true. But I still find myself avoiding mirrors as when I look at the reflection, it’s hard to see myself. Whether it should be or not, I’ve learned that feeling good about yourself and how you look really is an important part of life.

I’ve learned that doctors and nurses are literally angels that walk among us. They sacrifice their lives and time with their own family and friends to save other peoples lives. I have such admiration and gratitude for what they do.

I’ve learned the power of music. Music has always been a huge part of my life but it’s helped me in the past month more than I thought possible. Music helps you truly feel emotions whether they’re happy or sad. A song can help you get out of bed in the morning, make shaving your hair off a little easier, take you back to a special memory or point in time, or bring calmness to your day when it’s getting overwhelming.

I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how long you go without talking to someone, if you made a difference in each others lives, you’ll always have a place in each others heart.

I’ve learned that people are good. There are bad people in this world but there are far more caring, generous and loving individuals. People that will go out of their way to make someone else’s day better and bring happiness to someone else’s life other than their own.

Lastly, I’ve learned that I honestly enjoy a frosty mug of beer, freshly poured glass of wine or recently shaken dirty martini. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am going to miss these little pleasures, A LOT, in the upcoming months. And ya know what? There’s nothing wrong with that.

You don’t need a cancer diagnosis to learn important lessons about life but you do need to learn things for yourself. Because as much as you hear or read about life lessons, they really only sink in until you come to the conclusions for yourself.

So one month in and I’m feeling optimistic. Feeling optimistic about my life, where it’s going and all the lessons I’ll continue to learn along this unexpected but important chapter of my life.

Xoxo,

Jessy

p.s. (cuz I love p.s.’s… and Sloths. Here’s a fab motivational picture my friend Amanda at work created for me. Talk about people going above and beyond to make you happy. Thanks girrrrrrrl.)

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