The First of the Lasts

Today was one I’ll never forget. 

Today I had my first cry of the “series.” Only 2 episodes left of this series of my life. The series finale comes two weeks from now. There will likely be a lot of excitement and hoopla. Mike will be with me and so will my parents. Two weeks from today, my veins will take their last push of chemotherapy and my body will be full of toxins one last time. But today is today and today was, in a way, was just as exciting. For a year now, I’ve lived in 3 week cycles. And so today was the first of the lasts. It was was week 1 and therefore I had my final meeting with my oncology team- Dr. D, Dr. Mandy and me. There have been so many people that have gotten me through this journey but at the heart of this machine, it’s been the three of us. So it was so special to me to get to be with them, review my labs together, laugh with them, reminisce a bit, and then, OF COURSE, make them take a selfie.   

While we were taking this picture, it hit me how exciting this moment was. How I’ve waited over two years to begin the goodbyes. I began jumping up and down and clapping my hands, I was overcome with the feeling of “ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! This is real!!!” I hugged Dr. D and he walked out of the room. Then, I instantly stopped jumping and covered my face as I could feel the tears beginning to stream down my face. This journey has been so long, it’s been so hard, it’s been absolutely brutal at times but it’s also been so incredible because of these two individuals and I don’t want to say goodbye. I’m sad, really sad to say goodbye.

Lucky for me, I will see them again in two weeks when I cross the finish line but this time today was important. I needed just us to be a team, just the three of us, one last time.

So I dedicate this blog to the best team I’ve ever been a part of. 

Lots of love & light,



11 thoughts on “The First of the Lasts

  1. Jess. Yahoo…Praise God and those amazing folks at the Farber and Brigham!! But mostly praise YOU….YOU did this….Yes you have so many people who love and have traveled with you on this journey/marathon. How appropriate that you will be crossing the finish line in April as many will be On April 18th, Patriots Day. Many running for DFCI.
    I continue to keep you in my prayers young lady. I keep thinking when you were little and our family was able to get together, you always had that big smile on your face. Holly/Allie you and Courtney loved to play dress up and Barbies…years pass but memories do not.
    So today, on your High Holy Day, St.Patricks…”may the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. May the rains fall soft upon your fields….Have a Guinness to celebrate…You and all you have faced and be PROUD….Love, Connie

    • Don’t know what to say other than thank you! Your words get me every time Connie- really, they mean so much and I feel so loved. Thank you for always chiming in the throughout these two years and reminding me just how many people I have to be thankful for in my life. Sending you lots of love!

  2. We don’t know one another, but I am so INSPIRED by your journey that has been long with many ups and downs. I always feel God sends us someone when things get tough to keep us going and you are my someone. Three years post treatment for recurrence of endometrial cancer and having some side effects from lots of radiation, but will get through it and come out the other side stronger. I too can personally relate to what a boost receiving cards from others is and knowing you’re not alone. I plan to send you some and have our grandchildren make some originals.I shall keep you in my prayers and see your beautiful smile in my thoughts. Continued Healing and Blessings. Patti

    • Patti, I can’t tell you how much these words meant to me and I am so touched and happy that my story has in some way helped you during a difficult time in your life. Also, I am so excited to hear you’re going to do some Smile Cards- the more I can bring the better!!! Thank you for keeping me in your prayers, I’ll do the same for you. Sending you lots of love and good vibes!

  3. You have walked a long journey dear Jess. I will be holding you in my heart in love and prayer as closure draws near. Celebrate every step of the way. Hugs and much love to you. Assunta

  4. Jesse I have followed your story through Facebook and blogs. I cried reading this but happy tears! I do not know you well and I have only met you once at your nieces first birthday. What a huge moment for you. I can’t imagine how amazing this must feel. I am positive you have heard so many individuals say your tough and strong. I think you are incredible, inspiring, strong, and beautiful. I really hope you know that you are all of these things. You have such a huge loving support team with doctors, friends, and family…but it’s the inner you that shines above all. Best wishes on your new journey !!!


    • Kristy, thank you so much for these kind words. I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Also, thank you for following along in my journey and my life- i really appreciate it. Sending you so much love!

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