Feeling Anxious

Remember when I said “anxiety leading up to a challenge is more than half the battle”? Definitely true but definitely easier to talk about than put into action. Just how do you you go about conquering that anxiety? How do you go about taking control of your mind when something has you worried? That’s an answer I just don’t have right now. And as of right now, anxiety has struck.

Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow I go for my first “outpatient” procedure at the Dana Farber Institute to have tests done that will determine if chemo is working properly and I can be considered in “remission.” At that point, I will get a more detailed plan of what my next two years will look like. That will be determined by having bone marrow pulled – a procedure I’ve unfortunately already had done and therefore already know, to be frank, how much it REALLY sucks. And so I’m anxious. Anxious about the physical pain. More anxious about the results. And although I know that getting myself worked up about it isn’t going to help make tomorrow any easier, it’s really hard to control these feelings. So for this battle, I really am hoping that anxiety is truly more than half of it…because that, my friend, means I’m already headfirst into the fight.    

I’ve gotten through it before and I can get through it again. That much I know and that much I will continue to tell myself until this time tomorrow night. Because tomorrow night at this time, I will be back home, on my comfy couch, with the love of my life sitting next to me, eating a bowl of ice cream that I wish could turn into a glass of red. 

XOXO,

Jessy 

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5 thoughts on “Feeling Anxious

  1. How perfectly put my very special Granddaughter. Mickey and I love you so much and anxiously await the results of your tests. Jessica Strong, my darling. Love, Your Gram.

  2. Please know that my THOUGHTS and PRAYERS will be with you …You are one SPECIAL woman, and you will pass through today with flying colors…Love,Barbara

  3. My little preschoolers said a prayer for you this a.m w/”their eyes closed” so they could concentrate better better. I can only imagine the anxiety you must feel, but you will get through it & I have faith the results will be good! God bless Jessica – we’re all rooting for you! Xo

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