One shot of morphine down. Two ativans under the tongue. Now I get to sit in an “observatory” room as we wait for it to hit me. Last time, my mind won over the meds and I didn’t feel their effects until after the procedure was done. Hoping for different luck today. I could use a smooth ride. Either way, in about 30 minutes I’ll go in to have my bone marrow biopsy. Fourth one I will have had done and still no easier. Beyond the physical pain, the uneasiness that comes from knowing that what they’re pulling out could have leukemia cells in it is such a crazy thought. I say the words “I have leukemia” often yet there’s nothing physical that I can ever see or feel. But since they’re extracting something from me during a bone marrow biopsy, it makes it feel like they’re ridding some of my body of this terrible diseases. Unfortunately, that’s not what’s going to happen today but I like to tell myself that it is. That with every pull, they’re pulling out bad cells and bad energy from my body.
Maybe the drugs have kicked in, I’m starting to talk a little crazy so I shall end here.
Wish me luck!