Yesterday and today were big days. The hair chopping and wig fitting began. Apparently it takes about two weeks after chemo begins that you start to lose your hair. So I wanted to do it in phases so it didn’t feel as dramatic when I have to buzz it off. Out of everything going on, this is something that I have been dreading more than most aspects. Although there’s nothing normal about my life right now, when I’m putzing around my room, chatting with friends/family, watching TV at night with Mike… I feel normal. I feel like myself. But I also have been able to look in the mirror and it’s me… no difference. (a little paler than normal but me). So I’m so terrified to think about what it’s going to feel like when I look in the mirror and my hair’s gone… I won’t be who I’ve always been. Hair doesn’t define you and logically, I know that, but emotionally, it’s harder than that. It really is a big part of who I am. And unlike a lot of girls who are daring and wild with their hair, my “do” has been the same for quite some time — long and brown since about 1995. So the thought of being forced to lose it… sucks quite honestly.
So I woke up at about 9:30 yesterday and took my last pic with my long manggggge.
Within about 10 seconds, it was gone. CHOPPED.
SILVER LINING: I had enough hair to donate it to Locks of Love so it will be able to be made into a wig for a little girl going through something she should absolutely not be dealing with her at her age. That, that made it absolutely worth it.
This morning, I woke up, showered and put on make-up for the first time in 11 days which felt SUPERB. And here’s the final product.
If I’m being honest, I really don’t like it. I’ve decided I’m definitely a long hair girl and I can’t wait until the next time I have to spend a good 10 minutes in the shower shampooing and conditioning my hair. It will be a divine day. Until that day, I’ll be rocking the short hair/no hair/fake hair thing. And ya know what, that’s not the best but as I’ve learned in the past two weeks, I’ll keep chugging along and get through this too.