Hair Matters

Yesterday and today were big days. The hair chopping and wig fitting began. Apparently it takes about two weeks after chemo begins that you start to lose your hair. So I wanted to do it in phases so it didn’t feel as dramatic when I have to buzz it off. Out of everything going on, this is something that I have been dreading more than most aspects. Although there’s nothing normal about my life right now, when I’m putzing around my room, chatting with friends/family, watching TV at night with Mike… I feel normal. I feel like myself. But I also have been able to look in the mirror and it’s me… no difference. (a little paler than normal but me). So I’m so terrified to think about what it’s going to feel like when I look in the mirror and my hair’s gone… I won’t be who I’ve always been. Hair doesn’t define you and logically, I know that, but emotionally, it’s harder than that. It really is a big part of who I am. And unlike a lot of girls who are daring and wild with their hair, my “do” has been the same for quite some time — long and brown since about 1995. So the thought of being forced to lose it… sucks quite honestly. 

So I woke up at about 9:30 yesterday and took my last pic with my long manggggge. 

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Within about 10 seconds, it was gone. CHOPPED.  

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SILVER LINING: I had enough hair to donate it to Locks of Love so it will be able to be made into a wig for a little girl going through something she should absolutely not be dealing with her at her age. That, that made it absolutely worth it.

This morning, I woke up, showered and put on make-up for the first time in 11 days which felt SUPERB. And here’s the final product. 

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If I’m being honest, I really don’t like it. I’ve decided I’m definitely a long hair girl and I can’t wait until the next time I have to spend a good 10 minutes in the shower shampooing and conditioning my hair. It will be a divine day. Until that day, I’ll be rocking the short hair/no hair/fake hair thing. And ya know what, that’s not the best but as I’ve learned in the past two weeks, I’ll keep chugging along and get through this too. 

XOXO, 

Jessy 

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18 thoughts on “Hair Matters

  1. This one made me cry a little. Why do girls have such an emotional connection to our hair? The thing is, our most important relationships are with the people we love and just know that everyone will love you with or without hair. Let’s all get real, your eyes and smile are the real show stoppers. But the girl in me that loves my hair is here to shed a tear and say fuck you, cancer, because I think that’s probably more helpful, or maybe just more realistic. Love you!

  2. Aww this is a tough one! I must say, you look a lot like your mom with he shorter do 🙂 It will be back, long and beautiful some day, but you are just as beautiful without it ❤

  3. Jessy,

    You are one of the bravest, most courageous women I know. I admire your strength and determination to face each challenge that’s presented to you. Keep it up, I love your blogs! I love your new cut, you look so sophisticated and beautiful. Kudos to you for taking control and doing it your way! You are an inspiration to many. Xoxo

  4. Jessica you are so awesome. You look great with the long or short hair. I know it’s going to be difficult, but have fun with it. Girl I have been rocking weaves my whole life lol. The best part is being able to change your hair style everyday. I went from black short curly hair at the beginning of the week to long straight blond hair by Wednesday. And tip no. 2 if anyone asks you is that your hair you say hell yeah it’s my hair I paid for it. LOL. Always thinking of you chicky!

  5. I think you look great with short hair 🙂 also, you’ve got such an amazing smile and fortunately that’s something the chemo won’t take away ❤

  6. Loved reading your post. Wishing you the best of luck with your treatment hun. I would also like to make you a free wig if need be. I do hair extensions and I make them all the time for clients. Just let me know if you need one 🙂

    • Oh wow, thanks so much for the offer! That is so kind. I have ordered a few to try on through the hospital but not sure how they’ll look as none were just plain brown and long. Most that I saw had a lot of layers/highlights etc.

      • Yes a lot of the pre made ones try to stay “trendy” lol. We custom make ours with which ever hair texture and color the client prefers, then we ask for some measurements that are easy to take, and then we start making it 🙂 Doesn’t take longer than a few hours, and they look beautiful. We’ll definitely keep in touch 🙂 My email is beautybybellaextensions@gmail.com
        Bella

  7. Jessica, with the BEAUTIFUL face,body,and personality that you have…WHO NEEDS HAIR…You AMAZE me…PRAYERS and POSITIVE ENERGY, much love, Barbara Nelson and Mary Whelan

  8. Miss Jess I’m sorry that loosing your hair (cut off/ or by chemo) bothers you emotionally. Speaking from someone who has known you for quite along time, and you can ask just about anyone you know, your hair is not what makes you beautiful.
    Thanks for the blog, you are pretty good at it.

    • I’ll second what Mark said … and add that your incredible inner and outer beautiful is amplified the courage and strength you are showing. Thank you for sharing your story, and letting those of us that care walk this journey with you. You will kick cancer’s butt … and tell your story for many generations to come. xo

  9. Girl, you got this. We are here for you now and for the entire time your hair is growing back! Seriously, you are gorgeous and so brave and strong. Sending you lots of positive energy.

  10. We think of you ALL THE TIME…You are so much like Robin Roberts,A CLASS ACT…YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON…xoxoxo, Barbara and Mary

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