It’s one o’clock in the morning and I can’t sleep. Is it the steriods or pain medication wearing off? Am I nervous for tomorrow’s appointment? Or maybe it’s the fact that I found out today I won’t be getting my position back at work when I go back in a month? I think it’s all three, mostly the latter. My whole life, I’ve always worked my damnedest to keep moving forward, to be the best I can be, put myself in the frontline and that’s exactly what I did when I got into the workforce. I worked my ass off at an agency to get a better job for a corporation and then worked my ass off for a company to prove that I was great at my job and prove myself I did. I got promoted to a position that I was excited about and proud of myself for obtaining. And then leukemia struck like the bitch it is and took my career train right off its tracks. Almost an entire year I’ve been out of work, out of touch with my coworkers and what’s going on in the industry. Instead of digital media marketing, my job became keeping me healthy, keeping me alive. So now that the light is finally creeping in the tunnel and I’m this close to getting back to work, I find out that I’ve lost that promotion I worked so hard to get. Now that’s
a hard pill to swallow. I understand the business decision behind it, but it definitely feels like a kick you when your down type of moment. I didn’t expect it at all and I am so frustrated and upset I barely know what to say. I know after everything I’ve been through this year, something like this shouldn’t rattle me so much (it’s just work, right?) but it’s more than that to me, it’s my career path and having cancer rear it’s ugly head at me one more time and take one more thing away from me just feels so unfair.
It’s 1am and I still can’t sleep. Too many things racing through my mind. But there’s one thing I know for sure, when I get back in my little baby cube land, I’m gonna kick some ass and take numbers doin it!