My life right now is so full of ups and downs sometimes it’s hard to keep track of. I can have a horrible week with an unexpected stay at the hospital and then a few days later I’m feeling better and enjoying the little things in life. And then there are weeks like last, that I spent with my whole family, in one of my favorite places in the world (The Cape) and enjoyed lots of relaxing, swimming, good food, laughs and love. It was the perfect week.
Not to mention, on Tuesday, my girl Bey was in town so I was able to head off to Foxborough and act as though I was one of her back-up dancers for 3 hours. It was three of the best hours I’ve had in quite some time. Pure happiness. I’ve been blessed to attend a lot of concerts/shows in my life, but I’ve never felt such gratitude and gratefulness for being able to attend one as I did last Tuesday night. As corny as it is, Beyonce is my idol. I love what she represents, I love the way she presents herself and above all I love her music. Her music (Halo in particular) has gotten me through a lot of crappy times in the past few months, many spinal taps, bone marrow biopsies and currently some brain radiation. So to be able to be right there with her hearing her sing the songs that I’ve listened to on repeat over and over again was magical. Being in Gillette Stadium, I was able to look up and see hundreds of beautiful stars fill the sky and at that moment I was reminded yet again of just how lucky I am. Not everybody in my situation would have been able to see their idol that night. Not everybody in general is blessed to go to shows and see live music and for that I’m so lucky. Because good music heals the soul and that’s just what it did to me that night.
Then I got back to the Cape house, unleashed havoc on my family of how amazing my night was and tossed on one of our two matching ‘Merica/Barstool t-shirts that had been specifically ordered for the 4th. To my shock, on the fourth my favorite blog of all time, Barstool Sports, reposted my insta pic. Don’t care how dorky this makes me but I’ve been a Stoolie since 09 and I couldn’t have been prouder or more excited to be featured on their page. Highlight of the summer for sure.
Today, I’m sitting in bed for as long as I can before it’s back to the Dana Farber Country Club. It’s been a long two days for sure and the following two weeks won’t be much better. Every time a vacation or holiday comes to a close, I’ve always been one to be super sad about it being “over.” When I was little, December 26th was practically a mourning day in our home. I get so amped up for things, sometimes it’s hard to come “off” the high. So as I entered the workforce a few years ago that certainly did not change, and anytime a long weekend came to a close or a vacation week ended, I found myself whining and feeling sorry that I had to get back to “the grind” the next day. Well, let me tell you, there’s nothing a good perspective can’t alter. This Sunday, there was nothing more that I wanted than to be getting up in the morning and heading off to my little cube land. Instead, I started my morning at 745 am getting blood drawn and an IV put in. After meeting with my doctors, I was given my first dose of the next round of my chemo cocktail, followed by a spinal tap, and my first round of brain radiation. Phew, it’s almost over. Oh wait, there’s more. I was then taken over to the Brigham where after almost 4 hours of waiting and no food or water in my system since 7am, I was taken into surgery to get my Port put in. (A “port” is a permanent IV line that goes in my chest and will administer all my blood work/chemo/meidince going forward). My mind has a way of ‘owning’ me so during the surgery I continued to wake up and ask the doctors if everything was going okay. No bueno. With that, they continued to pump me with more and more medicine to get me to continue to sleep. All in all, lots of drugs in one little person’s body = a lot of throwing up for the hours and day afterwards. After getting more radiation, fluids and anti nausea medicine yesterday, I’m heading in for round 3 in a a little while. But this time, I’ll be accompanied by one of my best friends— my little Jo Jo. So for that I’m thankful. I also know that just like this time last week was better than this moment right now, two weeks from now will be better than what I’m going through right here and right now. And all in all, two weeks from today means two weeks closer to my end goal of being a happy healthy version of myself.
Oh, the difference a week can always make.
p.s. i hope everyone had a wonderful fourth despite the not-so-great weather!